Trump Appoints Chief Pussy Grabbing Strategist

Amid sexual harassment complaints, Fox News abruptly ended Bill O’Reilly’s reign Wednesday as the top-rated host in cable news.

President Donald J. Trump, soon after the Fox News announcement, told O’Reilly, “You’re hired!”

“We will make a great team together,” Trump said. “Bill has the specific skills I was looking for as White House Chief Pussy Grabbing Strategist.”