Nation, Surprised to Hear Actual Words of Inspiration, Confuses Oprah as President

Ever since Donald J. Trump took the office of president last year, approximately 70 percent of the nation has been in an existential crisis.

“It may actually be worse than that,” said Dr. Jasmine Palo, a Trump University psychiatrist. “I think people might be becoming delusional.” 

Dr. Palo’s diagnosis of the nation comes after reactions to Oprah Winfrey’s speech while receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award at the Golden Globes Sunday. 

Bands have been randomly popping up to play “Hail to the Chief” whenever Winfrey appears in public. Military officials have been saluting her. One young man even chased Winfrey down the street with a bible in his hand. After her security got everything under control, they realized he was only after Winfrey because he was trying “to swear her into office.”

“It’s like it’s the first time they’ve ever heard Oprah give an inspirational speech,” Dr. Palo said. “Everyone thinks that she’s the president.”

The nation has been so starved for words of history and promise, they’ve completely dismissed who the actual president is. When President Trump is seen in public, he is often ignored or people make sure to walk the other way to avoid him.

“We definitely live in a fickle nation,” Political Analyst William Wolfe said. “One moment it’s the populist with a white supremacist, male agenda that’s voted into office and the next it’s an African-American female icon.”

Winfrey’s team has noticed the overwhelming response to people needing to believe that she is currently the president. They have announced that they are launching a 2020 presidential campaign. The campaign slogans Winfrey’s team is deciding on are one that speaks about the nation’s shift, “Give the Pendulum an Extra Push. Oprah for President!” or “You get health insurance! You get health insurance! Everybody gets health insurance!”