WASHINGTON – May 1 is “Loyalty Day!”
For one day only, “Loyalty Day Punch Cards” for Trump products are available for pick up at the White House.
“Loyalty Day recognizes and reaffirms our allegiance to the principles upon which America was built – consumerism and militarism,” Trump’s Loyalty Proclamation stated. “Today I give the American people a yuge deal.”
Trump has been known to insult the military so he is giving the American people the chance to earn an apology for statements he has previously made.
“You’ll get a punch on your card for any product you purchase that bears the Trump name,” Trump said in a statement. “It can be a product of mine or a product that any of my kids have put their name on.”
For every 10 punches, the Trump administration will put out an apology for a previous insult Trump has made about the military.
Statements that will most likely be explained and given a sort-of apology first will be to Khzir and Ghazala Kahn who are Gold Star parents. Their son was killed in Iraq and Trump claimed the family sacrificed nothing plus insinuated that Ghazala, who was overcome by grief, was not allowed to speak because she was an oppressed Muslim woman.
Also high on the list of apologies the American people will be looking for is when Trump said Senator John Mccain is not a war hero because he was caught and became a POW.
“This is my way to humbly thank our brave service members and veterans who have worn our Nation’s Uniform from the American Revolution to the present day,” Trump’s May Day proclomation read. “You can also purchase replicas of each of these uniforms on my website and each purchase will count towards a punch.”
White House Press Secretary, Sean Spicer, is the person who will be giving the paid-for, deal-making apologies.